Familiar Russian Phrase

This one's for my mama.... if you're Russian, you'll understand.

Kuda pryosh kozyol? A escho v'ochkakh! (translation: where are you going, goat? And with glasses at that!)

Happy Birthday, Estha from Queens

Happy birthday to my dear friend, Estha from Queens, who is wise beyond her years, even while bathing!

Oh my gawd, Calgon, take Estha away!
I’m washing the week away like the filth that was
my dating life in Queens.

That’s my ex-husband
swirling around the drain.

Right where he belongs,
with my unwanted hairs and
shower spiders.